Wednesday, January 25, 2012

One Day

One day I know that I will have it all figured out.

One day I know that I will be able to balance work, motherhood, and marriage with little stress.

One day... one day...

But sometimes, it feels like I will never get it all together. I'll have a success at work and an epic fail as a mother. I'll be so patient as a mother that I could be nominated for 'mother of the year' but then pick a horrible fight with my husband for no reason at all. One day I hope I'll figure out the balance.

I often wonder if I'm the only one out there that is actively trying not to get caught up in the rat race of life. I hate the speed of modern society. I really want life to slow down, become simpler, and more enjoyable.

One day...

Friday, January 20, 2012

What A Week

It's Friday evening after a very long and stressful four day work week. I've missed dinner every night this week and two nights I didn't even make it home before the kids bedtime. Work doesn't always keep me away this much, but when weeks like these happen, I miss my boys so much my heart hurts.

I wonder, is this normal?

I love my job. I love the satisfaction that I get out of completing a tough week like this, but then sometimes I have to wonder if it's worth it...

I often tell myself that I would probably go crazy if I stayed home with the boys every day, but is that just something I tell myself to make it easier for me to leave every morning.

This morning as I was ironing my work clothes my littlest Ellis looks as me and asks, "Mommy, you not be long today, right?" I told him I would try my hardest to be home before bedtime. He looked at me with the saddest eyes and said, "Nooooo, you only be gone a little." He brought tears to my eyes.

I don't really have much of a point, but I just wanted to capture this feeling in the pit of my stomach where I am aching for my kids.

Tomorrow it's back to the office for a few hours but I'm going to bring my oldest Owen with me. Even if he's sitting in my office playing his Nintendo 3DS, at least I'll get to see him. (And I've promised everyone that Sunday we will do something extra special.)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A Belated Merry Christmas

It's a little late, but I wanted to take a moment to say Merry Christmas. We had a wonderful holiday. The week before Christmas we headed up to Charlotte, North Carolina with my sister, niece, nephew and parents. We spent a few days at the Great Wolfe Lodge. We had a wonderful visit and the cousins had a wonderful time playing together and swimming.

I love how much these cousins like each other. We had a great time visiting as a family.

My husband will probably hate me for writing this, but he is a NASCAR fan. If there is a race on TV he's watching it. He doesn't have much of a desire to watch a race in person, but if it's on TV it's on at our house. There have been many Sunday afternoons spent with the sounds of the race track in the back ground at our house. Since the race is always on, my boys have grown to really LOVE race cars. When we were in North Carolina we were so close to the Hendrix Motor Sports Museum that we had to check it out.

My mother-in-laws favorite driver, Dale Jr.

Back at home, Christmas day was perfect.

It's become a tradition in our house for the boys to unwrap a new pair of PJs on Christmas Eve.

Santa delivered a Nintendo 3DS, Mario game, and wheel barrel for Owen. Ellis got a new wagon, a basketball set, and "Woody Garbage Truck" (from Toy Story 3).

It was great getting to spend the day with my sister also. I miss her dearly.

After opening presents at our house and having some breakfast we drove over to my parents house in Alabama. We got to spend the afternoon visiting with family. Owen got a new iPod which he's really excited about. Ellis got a skoot bike and a camera. (I think he enjoyed the presents from Nana and Papa more than anything he got from Santa or Ed and I.)

Overall, it was a lovely holiday. I made an extra effort to take some time to just enjoy what was going on around me and I think it was a success. 

Happy belated Christmas!